


Real

by nandonman



Series: It was just a prank, Josh [3]
Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Fingerless Mike, Implied Jessica Riley/Matt Taylor, Josh comforts Mike, M/M, Mike adopted a Wolfie, Mike shot Emily, Or Jessica Riley & Matt Taylor, Post Until Dawn, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Washingroe, mentions of guns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-14 12:35:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29171214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nandonman/pseuds/nandonman
Summary: “So why did you really invite me here?”“I was bored.”“And you didn’t call Sam? That’s sus, Michael.”“Well maybe I just missed you.”
Relationships: Mike Munroe/Josh Washington
Series: It was just a prank, Josh [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1804837
Comments: 10
Kudos: 12





	1. Real

**Author's Note:**

> Oh god this is cheesy. I hope you enjoy anyway!
> 
> This is a continuation of the other two works in this series, Prolouge and Be Okay, but it can also be read alone.

Josh was feeling great.

It was late at night—or early in the morning, Josh supposed, and he had absolutely nothing he had to do tomorrow. No work, no therapy, no group. Nothing. And the best part? He got to spend the night with his friend.

Earlier that day Josh had gotten an unexpected call from none other than Mike Munroe, who he hadn’t talked to in . . . well, in weeks, really. Mike invited him to walk this new trail with him and his dog, then to grab some snacks and chill at his place. He offered no excuse, and the proposition had seemed suspicious to Josh at first. But it had turned out to be just that—a surprise hang out just for the sake of it.

That is, if you don’t count the immense amount of opening up that they’d both just done. Josh smiled to himself softly as some Netflix original played on the TV, recalling Mike’s words from earlier.

_ “So why did you really invite me here?” _

_ “I was bored.” _

_ “And you didn’t call Sam? That’s sus, Michael.” _

_ “Well maybe I just missed you.” _

That had taken Josh by surprise, and that small statement had encouraged Josh to open up a little. The trail was nice, but they had only really talked about small things, when they did talk at all, and Wolfie had kept them both busy enough not to have to anyways. Josh felt relieved when Mike and him could talk face to face, just vulnerable and . . . catch up.  _ Really _ .

Call him a sap, but being genuine with someone—with Mike—left Josh with a good feeling in his stomach. That’s why he wasn’t too concerned with the fact that Mike had gotten up to use the bathroom about fifteen minutes ago. Not until the show ended, and the bar to start the next episode quickly began to fill.

“Hey Mike, you still into this or should we put on something differe—“

Josh trailed off as he realized Mike wasn’t back yet. How long had it been? Fifteen—twenty minutes?

Suddenly Josh was met with the dilema of letting Mike take care of what he needs to take care of or going to check and see if he was alright. In Josh’s experience, it was usually safet to do the latter.

“Hey, uh, Mike?” Wolfie’s head perked up from the opposite side of the couch as Josh got up and walked around the corner of the hall, nearing the bathroom door. “You good in there?”

There was no response at first, and then a distracted “—Yeah. Yeah, sorry, just had to answer a text. I’ll be out in a second.”

Josh furrowed his brows but decided that if Mike needed his space, he deserved to have it.

“Alright. Alright, cool. I’m just gonna choose a new show then.”

Mike said something like “sounds good man” before becoming deadly silent again. Josh didn’t want to pry, but he was worried.

Regardless, Josh made his way back to the couch and plopped back down, searching through Netflix and eventually Amazon to try to find something interesting. 

Josh gave up and glanced over at the Malamute taking up the entirety of the other half of Mike’s couch. Mike had adopted her not long after they’d gotten back from the mountain. She was his best friend, his therapy dog, and his “lady,” as Mike called her. Apprently he’d named her after some dog that meant a lot to him. Josh didn’t know the full story.

Time passed, and Josh couldn’t stop his mind from wandering back to Mike. He became increasingly convinced that Mike wasn’t just catching up with a friend.

Josh stood up and wiped his hands on his flannel, nervousness getting the best of him. Knowing what they’d both been through, he wasn’t sure he could actually do much to help. What if he made it worse? What if he couldn’t handle it?

It didn’t matter. No, Josh just needed to make sure his friend was alright. If that meant being vulnerable then hell, what’s two in a day?

Josh approached the door of the bathroom and raised his knuckles to knock but stopped himself.

“. . . Mike. Do you want to talk?”

Josh prepared himself for whatever would be said in return, but there was nothing.

Alarm bells rang in Josh’s head, and without thinking, he tried the door. It opened with a quick creak and revealed Mike sitting on the floor, head in his hands with fistfuls of his own hair.

“Shit. Mike, what’s going on?”

Josh kneeled down, panic in his eyes when Mike looked up to meet them, his face pale.

“Josh—fuck. Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t . . .”

Mike trailed off, eyes falling closed as he rubbed at his forehead with his three remaining fingers.

“Um, look, I’ll be fine. I just need to—“ Mike took a quivering breath. “to get it together.”

“Mike.”

Josh stared at him, a fierce sort of compassion behind his eyes. What made Mike feel like this? What happened?

“Tell me what’s going on. Did something happen? Was it our conversation?”

Mike shook his head. “No. No, it’s not like that. No. . .” He looked down and seemed to immediately regret the action as he rested his head back against the wall and scrunched his eyes closed in pain.

“Come on, man, look at me. Just . . . Let me help you.”

Josh knew he sounded like a hypocrite, and maybe he was. He couldn’t care less. He just needed Mike to be okay.

Mike was silent for a second before slowly getting to his feet and going to the sink to splash some water in his face. Josh stood as well and waited, getting the hand towel down to hand to him when he finished.

Mike took the towel gratefully and dried his face, holding the towel in his grip anxiously.

“It was just . . . Well, it’s about. Um. Fuck, I don’t know.”

“Emily?”

Josh knew a normal person wouldn’t have said it. Anyone with a heart wouldn’t bring that up to Mike. But Josh wanted to help. And in his own way, knowing what was really going on would help him do that.

Mike froze, eyes hollow, hand squeezing the towel in his hands as he stared at the sink.

“. . . Yes.” He paused, avoiding looking at Josh or the mirror. “Look, just forget it, alright? I can handle it on my own.”

Josh reached out and tentatively put a hand on his shoulder. Mike needed grounding—something to keep him in reality.

“But you don’t have to.”

Mike was quiet for a moment, and Josh could only imagine what was going through his head. Then slowly, Mike forced himself to speak.

“. . . Before I asked you to come, I’d invited Matt and Jess.”

Josh froze. It had been a while since he last spoke to either of them, but when he had, there had pointedly been no mention of Mike.

“Of course, they . . . didn’t respond. Y’know. So I thought, right. That’s fine.”

For a moment, Mike looked like he was trying to convince himself of that. But then he continued.

“But it’s not.” Mike paused, taking a deep breath and stabling himself with the sink. Josh thought about moving his hand, but Mike hadn’t told him to move. Maybe it helped.

“Because they’re right to avoid me. They should. They should fucking hate me, by all means. I . . . I don’t deserve any of this. Fuck . . . I’m sorry, man, I just . . .”

“Hey. Look at me.”

Josh moved his hand down to Mike’s arm and gently pulled on it, trying to get him to face him.

Mike turned but avoided his eyes, looking past him at the door, his expression dark.

“Mike.”

Mike blinked and tried to meet Josh’s eyes. He looked . . . scared.

“Listen to me. Look, I’m not gonna lie to you. It’s going to take them some time.” Mike’s gaze dropped. “But I promise you, it won’t be like that forever. And you don’t deserve any sort of—whatever you’re thinking. You deserve just the same as the rest of us.”

Mike shook his head, a small grim smile adorning his lips.

“No. You don’t understand. I  _ killed _ her, Josh. I aimed the gun and pulled the—“ his voice cracked, “ _ fucking  _ trigger.” Mike’s voice dropped to a whisper as he pulled his arm away from Josh. “I saw what it did. She died, terrified. Hoping that I wouldn’t . . . But I did.”

“Because you thought you were saving everyone else.”

Suddenly, Josh saw Mike’s hands bundle into fists. He stood straighter, glaring at Josh.

“I didn’t save Emily, did I?. I’m a killer, Josh. Fuck, I should be rotting in jail for what I did.”

Josh couldn’t help how his own gaze intensified, in both anger and frustration. But he forced himself to hold back—to think about each word before he spoke. For Mike.

“Do you think blaming yourself is gonna make things right? That somehow if you hate yourself enough you’ll earn the right to be happy again?”

Josh’s ears burned as he remembered the weeks he spent alone in a hospital, agonizing over the loss of his sisters and blaming himself for their deaths. He couldn’t lie and say he didn’t hate himself still. But he was learning. And he knew Mike could learn too.

Mike scoffed, but Josh saw in his eyes that his words had had their effect.

Behind him, Josh heard scratching at the door. Wolfie really was a damn good therapy dog.

“If you could’ve saved them all, you would have. You saved Jessica, Mike. You even have the scars to prove it.”

Mike reflexively flexed his three fingers, his eyes softening slightly.

“And . . . You saved me.”

Josh watched intently as Mike’s expression changed, going from that distant, self hating scowl to shocked, almost vulnerable, with his lips barely parted and obviously in thought. They hadn’t spoken of that night, for ovious reasons. But there had been a moment they’d shared, down in the mines, that Josh could barely even remember. But he remembered Mike. He remembered feeling warm. Safe. Not in the literal sense, but in the sense that it didn’t matter what happened. Because Mike . . .

Josh reached out, tentatively holding Mike’s broken hand and thumbing over the scars of his missing fingers.

“You even saved that big scruffy dog out there.”

Josh smiled brightly as he caught a glimpse of a soft upturn of Mike’s lips.

“Who speaking of . . . You might want to let her in.”

Mike stared at Josh for a moment more, a myriad of emotions flickering across his face. Eventually, he gave in and stepped past to let in his dog, letting go of Josh’s hand.

Wolfie slapped the door open with her tail before Mike could open it all the way and went straight to Mike’s legs—or his waist, really. Josh rolled his eyes as Mike wiped his face with his hands then leaned down to pet her, scratching behind her ears as he knew she liked it.

“I’m sorry, Wolf. Things are . . .” He glanced up at Josh for no more than a second or two before looking down once more.

“Things are gonna be okay.”

Josh watched Mike love on his pet, a fond feeling creeping into his chest, until Mike stood and took a breath.

“Well. You need to go outside, don’t you, girl?”

Wolfie stood straight up and bolted out of the bathroom. Mike smiled and Josh made to leave but Mike grabbed onto his hand.

Josh stopped, glancing back at Mike who looked into his eyes with a surety Josh was happy to see was back.

“. . . I’m glad you’re here.”

Josh swallowed. The look in Mike’s eyes was too warm, too intense—

Josh froze as Mike guided their hands to Josh’s cheek and held it, a small, genuine smile that reached up to his eyes forming on his lips.

“Really.”

His voice was a whisper. Somewhere far away Josh heard Wolfie scratch at the door, but he hoped to God Mike wouldn’t leave. Before he could stop himself, images came flooding back of the mines, of holding Mike in his arms, kissing him, being saved by him. And earlier—kissing him in front of all their friends. A sick prank that changed their lives. For the worse, undoubtedly. But could there be something good too . . . ?

Josh closed his eyes and tilted his head, moving Mike’s fingerless hand so he could kiss his palm. The action was horribly tender, but perfect to convey how Josh felt. He wanted to heal Mike. To share with him. To love him.

He was afraid to open his eyes. Afraid that this wasn’t real, irrationally scared of friends popping out, laughing and filming. He was afraid Mike would leave.

And then he felt something press against his lips.

Josh’s eyes fluttered open for a second, just enough to process that that was Mike’s stubble, Mike’s goddamn beautiful eyelashes, his cheek. Then his eyes flew shut, and he let himself pull him closer.

Mike’s kiss was soft and slow, deliberate. Josh had to keep reminding himself that this was real until Mike licked his chapped lips and Josh furrowed his brows, eyes opening just barely, a reflex to feeling so much at once.

Mike pulled away gently, and Josh found himself trailing after him before he pulled himself together enough to stand still.

“Mike . . .”

“I uh. I have to go let Wolfie out.”

Josh blinked. Wolfie was whining from the other room, which meant if they didn’t act soon, disaster would be upon them.

Mike seemed to notice something in Josh’s expression because he raised his eyebrows.

“Oh we’re not done with this.”

Josh watched him carefully. “We’re not?”

“Not unless you want us to be.”

Mike looked surprisingly unsure, and Josh almost laughed. He really had no idea what he meant to him.

Josh leaned forward and held the back of Mike’s neck as he gave him one last kiss, tilting his head and kissing him more forwardly than before.

He pulled away and it was Mike’s turn to look flustered.

“Go let your dog out, man. Then meet me on the couch.”

“Yes sir,” Mike smiled as he stepped past him. As he left, he put his hand on Josh’s chest to push past him, gently and most certainly intentionally. Josh really needed to believe this was actually happening. Not just a dream, not some distortion of reality. This was real.

This was real.


	2. Glad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh becomes Mike’s unofficial therapist, essentially.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is sooooo cheesy. I’m so sorry.

Josh stepped out of the bathroom and walked back to the couch. He plopped down and grabbed the remote, meaning to return to Netflix, but he found himself holding the remote still, a myriad of thoughts encompassing his mind at once.

He pressed his fingers to his lips. Just a minute or two ago, he’d kissed Mike. Mike had kissed  _ him _ .

It was technically the third time they’d done so, but the second was shrouded in Josh’s mind as a result of some sort of trauma block, and the first . . .

Josh closed his eyes and leaned back into the couch. He remembered the pain he’d felt that night. He should have hated Mike for what he did, and yet all that hatred that came with the pain Josh only directed at himself. He could never blame Mike. He didn’t think Mike deserved it. But him?

He let his sisters die, didn’t he?

Josh felt a sudden nauseating ache in his chest as the click of a door being shut sounded behind him, paws bellowing across the wood floor. Mike said something to Wolfie, probably thinking Josh couldn’t hear.

Another pang of hurt hit Josh as he thought about what Mike had said. “ _ They should fucking hate me, by all means. I . . . I don’t deserve any of this. _ ”

But Josh knew he did. He knew Mike deserved more, that it wasn’t his fault. Somehow the hatred he directed at himself for so long seemed like a distant memory. In a way, when he thought about it, all he could think of was . . . how much he didn’t want Mike to feel like that. Because it would be wrong.

“Hey, man. Sorry about that.”

Josh looked up just as the couch sunk in slightly, Mike sitting not too far from him, his arm outstretched on the back of the couch behind them.

Mike took a breath, looking first at Josh, his expression betraying his want to speak, and yet nothing was said. He turned away and cleared his throat, rubbing his nose.

“. . . Look. Dude.” Josh spoke up, shifting so he was facing Mike.

Mike turned toward him, feigning indifference.

“I know this isn’t gonna mean anything to you, but . . . You’re not—You don’t—“ Josh stopped himself, composing himself enough to put his emotions into coherent words. “You’re not some sort of monster or something. You’re human, man.”

Mike closed his eyes and took a breath. “Yeah. Yeah, I know.”

Josh frowned.

_ You’re just saying that because that’s what I want to hear. _

Mike opened his eyes and rubbed his neck, reaching for the remote. “We should watch a movie or something. Clear the air.”

Josh caught his hand, and Mike frowned.

“I know I can’t change what you feel. Or how you see yourself. Just don’t let yourself forget that you saved Jess and I both. Alright?”

Mike stared at him, and Josh was sure he would dismiss what he said and turn on a CW special. But surprisingly, Mike twisted his hand in Josh’s grip so he was holding  _ his _ hand.

“You could’ve made it out. All I did was hide with you.”

Josh stared at him in return, his eyes wide.

“. . . It wasn’t just that, Mike. Yeah, you came back for me. But you also—“

Josh’s words got stuck in his throat, and he had to look away somewhat, his eyes avoiding Mike’s intent gaze.

“When you kissed me . . .” Josh’s voice was weak, unsure almost. Certainly awkward.

Mike blinked, his grip on Josh’s hand relaxing. Suddenly the contact became the focal point of his attention. He became horribly aware of how Josh’s green eyes met his and shone with something he didn’t know how to place—didn’t know if he wanted to. Was his hand sweating? He moved his other arm from behind them to his side.

“You reminded me about what it’s like to be a human. Like. A real human. Not some crazy replica of myself, but actually . . . Real.”

Mike raised an eyebrow. “How did I do that exactly?”

Josh thought on that. How could he even begin to explain what it felt like? How could he get Mike to understand?

An idea struck him. Mike’s eyes followed Josh as he shuffled his way over closer to him, until he was settled on his lap, legs on either side of Mike’s, face to face, albeit Josh was a little higher, so he was looking down at Mike.

Mike’s face tinted red, which had Josh been in any other mood, he would’ve found entertaining. Was being with another gender than what you’re used to so shocking? He wouldn’t know.

Josh leaned down, and Mike’s eyes fell closed, expecting a kiss. But instead, Josh held either side of his face and spoke close against the skin of his cheek.

“Do something for me.”

Mike swallowed but nodded, and Josh’s hands moved with the motion.

Josh pulled away just slightly, pressing his forehead to Mike’s.

“Think about what you told me earlier.”

Mike furrowed his brows. “What do you mean?”

“You told me you didn’t think you deserved to be accepted. By Matt and Jess.”

Mike’s eyes flew open. “What are you—“

“Just trust me.” Josh stared into Mike’s eyes, confidence shining and emploring Mike to do what he asked.

Mike stared back, and for a moment, Josh worried he’d toss him aside. That he’d ruined what they had.

But instead Mike’s eyes fell closed, and he sighed.

“Okay.”

“Alright. Alright, good. Now think about why you feel like that. Just . . . let it all sink in.”

Mike stretched his back slightly, squirming in an obvious internal battle. Josh leaned forward and kissed his cheek, then by his left eye.

“Just think.”

Mike breathed in and out, and eventually, he nodded. “What next?”

Josh closed his eyes and pressed his forehead back against Mike’s, his breath falling on the other’s lips. He wanted to kiss him so badly, but he’d have to wait. Now it was just up to Mike. Fuck, it was such a risk. But Josh knew if Mike trusted him . . .

“Emily.”

Mike froze.

Suddenly, Mike’s arms shot out and grabbed Josh’s, his eyes wide and intense. He looked pissed, and rightfully so.

“Look, Mike, you just gotta trust me—“

“Trust you to do what? Why do you keep talking about this? Josh, please, just leave it alone.”

“I know, I  _ know _ it hurts. But if you can just let it  _ out _ , I promise you—“

“Josh.”

Josh stopped, eyes imploring, hands firm on Mike’s waist.

“Mike.”

Mike titlted his head as if to say, “ _ really _ ?”

“Please.”

Josh put as much emotion as he could into that word. He had to do this. He had to show him what he meant to him.

Mike was quiet for a moment, a silent indignation behind his eyes. But he could tell whatever Josh was up to, it meant something to him. He needed this.

“. . . Fuck you, man.”

Mike let go of Josh’s arms and leaned back, taking a deep breath. He tried to picture Emily, maybe in her prom dress the night of their senior year, maybe how she used to smile at the neighbors’ dogs. But all that came to mind was her parted lips and lifeless eyes, the terror written all over her face.

Mike furrowed his brows and focused. Across from him, he felt Josh shift, maybe trying to figure out if he was doing as he asked. Well, he was. For whatever it was worth.

“. . . Think about what happened. How much it  _ hurts _ .”

Josh’s voice broke, and somehow that empathy sent Mike. He was back. Back however many fucking weeks it’d been since what happened. Back to that night in the interrogation room, trying to defend himself to the police. Trying to save his own sorry ass. He shouldn’t have even tried. He should’ve just confessed. He should’ve let them take him in. He should be in jail, he should be  _ suffering _ for what he did. He shouldn’t be alive.

Josh was leaning against him, his head on his shoulder. He was hugging him.

Mike felt his eyes water, and he didn’t even process moving his hands to Josh’s back. He didn’t remember shutting his eyes, or the soft sound that escaped him. He couldn’t, not after what Josh whispered into his ear.

“Whatever you’re feeling . . . Whatever you’ve done,” He paused, voice dropping quieter than Mike’s shallow breaths. He had to hold it to hear him.

“I love you.”

  
  


The tears came quicker than Mike would have wanted, if he had to cry at all. But sooner than later, he was holding Josh tight, trying desperately to stop himself from crying. It didn’t work.

Josh held onto him, his grip firm. He didn’t speak. Neither of them did.

Josh pulled away and kissed him through his tears, and Mike realized Josh had shed a few himself. God, they were such a mess.

Mike kissed him back like he was a lifeline, drinking in his tears and reveling in the way Josh’s lips felt. He couldn’t ever get tired of that feeling.

Mike’s breath hitched and his breathing became uneven. Why the hell was he crying so hard? He felt like an observer in his own body, watching himself lose it in front of his—his—whatever Josh was to him. Josh pulled away and pecked his nose, then the place between his eyebrows.

Mike kept crying. It was like a whole damn river broke loose, and he couldn’t do anything but watch it spill.

In front of him, Josh moved to his side and pulled Mike so he was facing him, then slowly he pushed him back against the arm of the couch. Mike wiped at his eyes, face burning in embarrassment. Then Josh leaned down and kissed his neck. Once. Twice. Then he was whispering once again in his ear, his voice gravelly and slowed. He whispered small words of encouragement, telling him “you’re loved,” and “let it out, man.”

And Mike listened.

  
  
  
-  
  
  
  


Mike couldn’t tell how much time had passed, but at some point, Wolfie had decided to join them, which meant there was no longer any room to breathe. The dog flopped on top of Mike, rolling around as if her fur could generate happiness for him. In reality, it suffocated him. Though it was with love.

Josh had ended up rolling off the back of the couch, and Mike had elected to wash his face once more. But when Josh saw Mike come back, he’d ended up pushed down onto the couch, his lips stolen by the other man. He relaxed into the cushions, eyes easily fluttering closed as Mike kissed him.

“I love you.”

Mike said it clearly, loud enough for both of them to process it as truthful as it was. Mike’s head was in Josh’s hair, taking in his scent, his body feeling cathartically still after the emotions of before. Wolfie had fallen asleep at the foot of the couch, which left Josh and Mike with enough room to hold each other comfortably. Josh’s shirt had ridden up a little, which Mike fully exploited, running his hand up his slight curve and feeling his stomach. Josh smiled and told him it felt strange, which of course lead to Mike shuffling down to kiss his tummy, then up to his chest and eventually, his lips.

Josh blushed fully as Mike explored his mouth, his movements slow and deliberate, passionate and soft. Josh couldn’t move. He felt his hand flex slightly, but then he was still.

All that mattered was Mike.

Mike, who was running his thumb over Josh’s hip. Mike, who tasted of fruit and felt rough around his chin, his stubble grazing against Josh’s skin.

Mike, who’d ruined his life.

Who’d saved him from death. From . . . whatever the hell he’d almost become.

“Mike . . .”

The man blinked and pulled away, his eyes soft and scanning his face carefully.

“Yeah?”

“. . . I’m glad they didn’t answer.”

Mike smiled.

Right. If he’d hung out with Matt and Jess . . . none of this would have happened.

“I’m glad too, Josh.”

Josh smiled, and Mike met his smile, his eyes shining.

What the fuck would he do without him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me for I have sinned. I hope you enjoyed!

**Author's Note:**

> Part 2 anyone?


End file.
